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Fic: Cat's Out of the Bag; Tim/Kon; Rish

Title: Cat's Out of The Bag
Author: Aravis Tarkheena
Pairing: Tim/Kon, IMPLIED Dick/Roy, mentions of Cassie/Kara
Rating: Rish
Warnings: Slash, silliness, Roy abuse :(
Disclaimer: Not Mine
Word Count: 700ish
Author's Notes: written for amarin_rose's unfulfilled request on fic_on_demand.

Cat's Out Of the Bag

“So wait, you and Batman have been trying to get Tim and Kon together too?” Mia asked Dick with a mouthful of ice cream. They were sitting at the counter in Roy’s house eating ice cream with Lian. Roy was in the back yard trying to figure out how to get his police files off of the roof and shouting loudly about never letting Lian play in office again.

“Yeah, Bruce read this article a few months ago that said if you didn’t lose your virginity by the time you’re, like, 23 or so, you’re setting yourself up for sexual dysfunction. He started to worry about Tim. We talked it over and figured that Kon would be the best choice. I mean, they’re so close and all…” Dick trailed off and gestured with his spoon expressively.

Mia nodded in agreement. “Cassie has been worried about Kon since she left him for Kara. She wants him to be happy with someone and thinks Tim would be perfect for him,” Mia explained, licking her spoon.

“Bruce and I weren’t even sure Kon was into guys…” Dick said, dodging the spoonful of half melted ice cream and rainbow sprinkles that Lian thrust at him.

Mia giggled. “Nah, Cassie found his porn collection. Lots of boys…” she smirked.

“So what’s been your plan of attack so far?” Dick asked, curiously.

“Well, we’re thinking of sending them alone together to Hawaii. We think the romance of the island will work for both of them. We just need a stupid simple mission to send them on,” Mia said.

There was a loud crash outside as Roy tripped over a hoolahoop and landed face first in Lian’s sand box.

“Maybe we should join forces,” Dick suggested distractedly, watching his best friend flail around in the sand box. “I’m sure Bruce can come up with some excuse or another to send them on a trip to Hawaii.”

“Sounds good. If all else fails we can just take them to the New York Zoo to see those gay penguins. We’ll just watch them and make strong hints,” Mia said and offered Lian a bite of her ice cream.

Dick just gave her a bemused look, not sure if she was serious or not.

It turned out that Bruce had a perfect excuse to send the boys down to Hawaii for two weeks. He set them up as a couple in a nice hotel. The job was spaced out so that they had a ton of free time in between the meetings they were supposed to attend.

It seemed pretty promising to Dick.

Two weeks later, Dick was sitting on Roy’s couch watching The Bird Cage. The phone rang and he quickly answered it so as not to wake the Lian that was sleeping peacefully on his lap.

“Hey, it’s Tim. We’re home,” Tim said in a tired but happy tone of voice.

“Yeah, how was Hawaii?” Dick asked as casually as he could.

“It was great. We had a lot of free time so Kon and I used the opportunity to celebrate our anniversary,” Tim explained distractedly.

Dick sat up straight. “Your what?” he asked.

“Our anniversary. It’ll be one two years tomorrow,” Tim replied.

“You’ve been dating for two years?” Dick asked, trying to keep his voice down but not quiet managing it.

“Yes, I told you we were dating,” Tim said defensively.

“No you didn’t!” Dick shot back, accusatorily.

“What part of ‘partner’ didn’t you understand, Dick?” Tim asked, annoyed.

Dick paused. “Oh that kind of partner…” he said, realization dawning.

“Yes Dick, that kind of partner,” Tim answered condescendingly.

“Uh well, congratulations,” Dick said, trying hard to recover and almost certain he sounded like an idiot.

Luckily, Tim just sounded amused when he answered. “Thanks, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Dick sat there staring at the television screen but not really watching. He wondered bemusedly how on Earth none of them had realized.

No wonder they we’re falling for anyone’s tricks. They were already dating!


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 1st, 2008 03:56 am (UTC)
Hee! Adorable.

Congratulations on being one of the few people to write Tim/Kon that doesn't make my Bart-muse wince in jealousy!

One typo, though.

Dick sat up straight. “You’re what?” he asked.

Your what.
Jul. 1st, 2008 04:29 am (UTC)
Oh man, yeah you're right. Thanks for catching that. I'll fix it right away.

I'm glad you liked it. :D
Jul. 1st, 2008 03:59 am (UTC)
LOL. I love it. All their efforts to hook up those that had hooked up.

And poor Roy. Falling face first in the sand!
Jul. 1st, 2008 04:31 am (UTC)
Poor Roy was the victim of amarin_rose's specifications. I feel bad for him. He didn't even get to eat any ice cream. :(((
Jul. 1st, 2008 04:04 am (UTC)
Cute! I love how Mia and Dick are calmly discussing gay sex and porn right in front of Lian. And Roy being dumb is always funny. *g*
Jul. 1st, 2008 04:32 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure Lian's far too preoccupied with her ice cream and sprinkles to really process what everyone is saying. Poor Roy got the short end of this fic. I just wrote him hot Tim/Red Arrow porn, so I feel like I made it up to him.
Jul. 1st, 2008 04:53 am (UTC)
Gee, didn't Roy get a raw deal.

Oh! Of course they're already dating! And here Dick thought Tim was being all 'mini-World's Finest' when he talked about his partner!

This was really cute and funny.
Jul. 1st, 2008 04:55 am (UTC)
I feel so bad for him! He was nothing more than comic relief in this one. Poor Roy. I'll have to make it up to him somehow.

Poor Dick was a little slow on the uptake for that one. :(

I'm glad you liked it. :D
Jul. 1st, 2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
*snort* Oh, my god, that was so funny! Just what I was looking for; thanks so much. :)

On another note, your Batman certainly seems hung up on that article. Methinks he didn't lose his virginity until late and is realizing it may have contributed to his issues.
Jul. 1st, 2008 08:04 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I've totally used that plot device in at least three stories. I really really like the idea of Bruce reading that danmed article and getting all worried about Tim. Sitting in his Batchair with his eyebrows all furrowed.

I fixate way too much.
Jul. 1st, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
Worried about Tim, but not Cass? Tim's dated; Cass had one kiss with Kon.
Jul. 2nd, 2008 01:59 am (UTC)
I get the feeling that if Bruce ever made any mention of her sex life, Cass would just give him a look and he would never bring it up again.
Jul. 14th, 2008 03:09 pm (UTC)
ROFL!! XD Only Tim could manage to fool everyone into thinking he and Kon *weren't* dating, without even trying. XD That even Bruce didn't know is a serious feat! :p
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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